DRMacIver's Notebook

Unkind / Unfair / Untrue

Published

2019-03-07

This is a classification system I use, mostly for humour: Ask if a statement is unkind, unfair, or untrue.

The optimal number is one or two. Really the optimal number is one, but if the joke is strong enough you can get away with two.

Zero doesn’t really work, because kind, fair, and true statements are good and valuable and have important social and therapeutic roles, but they’re rarely funny. At least not if you’re as bitchy as I am (people somehow think I’m a nice person. I don’t know where they get this idea).

Three doesn’t work because then you’re just telling lies, and lies aren’t funny.

Honestly my favourite is unkind/fair/true, because you can just double down on it. There’s no lie there, you’re not even really misrepresenting anything, you’re just highlighting its worst aspects.

An example from earlier:

In space, noone can hear you scream, but that doesn’t really matter when Musk is involved because honestly it’s implied.

Peak unkind/fair/true right there.